After a few more minutes of this he said “you’re ready now, let me grab a condom and lube.” Still bending over and bracing myself by holding on to the back of the chair I felt the bulbous tip, well coated with slimy cold lube, slide between my butt cheeks and press against my hole. “Relax your butthole and take deep breaths.” he instructed as he started pressing harder. I did as he said and felt myself gradually stretching wider and as he continued pushing and sometimes retreating a little. Taking a massive deep breath I let it out slowly. As I did so I felt the head pop though and the entire length of his penis slid far up my hot steamy rectum! He was right, it felt sooooo GOOD! “You doin ok? Like having me in you?” he said as he started humping my youthful bottom. “Oh Yeah! God YEAH!” I gasped as his groin pounded hard against my buttocks. I had been so lost in what was happening to me I had nearly forgotten about the video that was playing. Opening my eyes I saw a guy’s butt. I hurt often and needed to escape, but I found ways to escape which weren't so self-destructive. The prison psychologist would be proud of me. He called it the grand substitution. For me it was a man, a woman or a dildo. Well not always, sometimes it was just looking at pictures of Country Store before I put my hand to it. So I guess you could say I found my release in some of the same things Roland had. He could never know that, but it was true nonetheless.I put another log on the fire and realized why all the stoves at Church Camp were wood. The act of keeping the fire going kept one engaged in the real world. It was something that regularly had to be done to stay at least somewhat comfortable. It was just another thing to keep me from drifting into an alternate reality.The first night of the mission I went to the Internet to find a man to stimulate my body's endorphin pain killer. It probably wouldn't help a gun shot, but an open wound to the psyche did help to scar over, at least.
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